WHAT MAKES US HAPPY?
- stephaniehueseman
- May 11
- 6 min read
We all have looked for it, contemplated it, sought to define it, hoped for it, chased it, admired it, and wanted it for ourselves and our loved ones. Happiness.
DEFINING HAPPINESS
Since ancient times, humanity has recognized that happiness, what actually makes us happy, is deeply tied to relationships, empathy, and social cooperation. Philosophers, scientists, and cultural traditions have long emphasized that happiness is not just an individual pursuit but a collective experience. See Box 1 (adapted from: McMahon D. The Pursuit of Happiness: A History from the Greeks to the Present. Penguin Books; 2007).
Contemporary psychology, particularly within the field of positive psychology, defines happiness using the broader concept of subjective well-being (SWB), wherein social connection is a vital ingredient. Our relational world is, in essence, our entire world. We live in a world woven with connections, a tapestry of relationships that shape our very existence. From the moment we are born, we are thrust into a network of dependencies, relying on others for sustenance, care, and guidance. This interconnectedness is not merely a feature of our lives; it is the fundamental condition of our being. We exist because of others. Our earliest experiences underscore this reality. Infants, utterly helpless, depend entirely on caregivers for survival. The bonds formed in these first interactions lay the groundwork for all future relationships, shaping our understanding of ourselves and our place in the world. As we grow, our circle of relationships expands to include family, friends, teachers, and communities. Each encounter, each interaction, contributes to the complex and evolving individuals we become.
A healthy and thriving social network fulfills our human needs for belonging, support, and positive interaction. It acts as a protective factor against stress and negative emotions, promotes positive feelings, and contributes to a sense of meaning and purpose in life, ultimately leading to greater subjective well-being. Furthermore, psychology and other sciences emphasize that while genetics and circumstances can play a significant role, perhaps more than originally thought, equally impactful are our thoughts, behaviors, and intentional activities. This empowers individuals to actively cultivate greater well-being.
HAPPINESS: A GLOBAL EFFORT
In April of 2012 the United Nations held the first High-Level meeting on Well-Being and Happiness. It aimed to explore the concept of happiness and its role in economic and social policy. The result was a comprehensive report titled, "Defining a New Economic Paradigm." It argued the need to move beyond traditional economic models that prioritize Gross Domestic Product (GDP) and to consider happiness and well-being as core indicators of progress. Two initiatives would stem from that UN meeting: the first would be the release of the first World Happiness Report (WHR) and establishing March 20 to be observed as The International Day of Happiness. And the second initiative: The World Happiness Summit, a global, annual event that brings together experts, researchers, and change-makers to explore the science and practice of happiness and wellbeing.
The care of human life and happiness, and not their destruction, is the first and only object of good government." Thomas Jefferson
The annual World Happiness Report is a data driven assessment of the current state of happiness around the world. It explores how the field of happiness science illuminates the differences in happiness levels on a global and national scale. Using Gallop and other peer reviewed sources, the WHR is the culmination of multiple research-backed surveys on tens of thousands of people equally represented across 149 of the 195 existing countries every year. It relies on individuals' ratings of their own lives on a scale of 0 to 10, where 0 is the worst and 10 is the best, and offers a global ranking of countries based on how happy their citizens perceive themselves to be. See Figure 1.
Ultimately, the WHR seeks to foster a deeper understanding of happiness and its connection to different aspects of life, encouraging governments to prioritize happiness as an important measure of national success and wellbeing. And it appears to be meeting that goal, at least in part. In some nations, such as Bhutan, the United Arab Emirates (UAE),and Venezuela their governments have appointed Ministers of Happiness. These officials are responsible for actively working to improve the happiness and social well-being of their citizens. Their role typically involves creating and managing government policies and programs designed to boost quality of life and cultivate a more joyful, socially engaged society.
Figure 1.
THE WORLD HAPPINESS REPORT: Themes and Variables
The World Happiness Report uses six key variables to measure happiness differences: income, healthy life expectancy, having someone to count on in times of trouble, generosity, freedom to make life choices, and trust in others and institutions. Each year since its inception, additional research and analysis is provided in depth on one or more topics or "themes" related to happiness. This year's emphasis is on the theme of "caring and sharing." This focus revealed social connections, trust in others and institutions, living with others, and regularly sharing meals with others as fundamental elements that shape national well-being, alongside traditional factors like economic prosperity and health.
What makes us happy? The happiest people are those who enjoy the benefits of robust social connections such as trust and social support. Conversely, those who are lonely, or are otherwise estranged in their relationships, report lower levels of well-being and happiness. The world's 10 happiest countries (see Figure 1) in 2025 are: Finland, Denmark, Iceland, Sweden, the Netherlands, Costa Rica, Norway, Israel, Luxembourg, and Mexico. WHR 2025 revealed concerning trends in declining social connections, perceptions of corruption and loss of social trust, and the rising polarization in regions such as the United States, which fell to a rank of 24, impacting overall happiness levels.
New WHR insights highlight the profound importance of kindness, according to the report. Surprisingly, believing in the kindness of others emerges as a stronger driver of happiness than even wealth and health in some measures. However, pervasive pessimism often clouds our perception of community support. Evidence from WHR and related social psychology research suggest that actual acts of kindness, like the return of lost wallets, far exceed expectations. To know and believe in the goodness of others is foundational to a life of happiness.
HAPPINESS IN BENEVOLENCE AND GIVING
Prosocial behavior is advantageous to all social animals, where kindness and generosity in some nonhuman (the chimpanzee and the bonobo) and human primates may be biologically hardwired. Traits such as empathy and giving, readily observed in humans and nonhuman primates, are thought to have an evolutionary basis. Particularly for humans, these traits helped our ancestors survive and thrive by fostering strong social bonds and cooperation. The World Happiness Report parrots the evidence emerging in the studies
of kindness and wellbeing: though reports of receiving or perceiving acts of kindness and generosity from others positively impacts wellbeing and happiness, it is more beneficial to be the bearer of such benevolent acts.
Upon reflection, this may be intuitive. Who has not witnessed the "warm glow" of giving in a toddler being of spontaneous assistance to another child or an adult? Neuroscience research supports what many people intuitively observe to be pleasure or satisfaction in social mammals, particularly their pets. Studies show that dogs engaged in helpful tasks trigger the brain's reward system just as it does in people, releasing neurochemicals like dopamine (associated with pleasure and motivation) and serotonin (linked to feelings of well-being and calmness) and the "bonding" or "love" hormone, oxytocin. Moreover, when a family dog engages in a learned task that is received by its owner as "helpful" and not just "desired," the release of oxytocin is even greater.
Oxytocin may be one of the neurochemical traces of what is considered to be the bidirectional effects of giving and happiness. Oxytocin fosters feelings of connection, trust, and bonding, which are crucial for social well-being and overall happiness. It can also lower blood pressure and cortisol (a stress hormone), contributing to better physical health. In humans, and perhaps
other social mammals, this creates a "helper's high" or a "warm glow," a positive feeling experienced after helping others. For humans, these acts may have a role in self esteem and providing a sense of purpose and meaning. Experiencing the positive emotions from giving can make us more likely to perform kind acts in the future, creating a virtuous cycle of happiness and prosocial behavior.
CONCLUSIONS
Supportive and thriving social networks provide a crucial foundation for levels of individual and national happiness and resilience. The Self-Centric Relational System (SCRS) is a tool designed to illuminate key aspects of an individual's relational network. It reveals areas of challenge (e.g., possible loneliness when there are too few people in one's inner and intimate circles, or too many negative relationships that are reducing social support and meaningful connection) and it offers concrete ideas for you, as the professional, to help your client confront and resolve those issues so they, too, might enjoy the benefits of social engagement and wellbeing.
What makes us happy? Us. Individual well-being and the well-being of one's social network are intertwined in a reciprocal cycle. When individuals thrive, they contribute to a more supportive and positive social environment, which in turn further enhances the well-being of its members, including themselves. The wellbeing of our relational world has the remarkable ability to make for a happier community. How happy are you?
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